1. Connection
Youth staff leave when they don’t have a personal connection to the leader. This is why its so important for us in leadership to minister to the volunteers. We can’t just think of them as worker bees. Not only should we be friends with our volunteers, I think it’s important to help them grow spiritually. They are pouring their lives into students so it makes sense that we should pour our lives into theirs.

2. Misunderstood Mission
Adult volunteers who think their job is to enforce the rules don’t understand the mission of the youth ministry. They think we are not doing our jobs when students are able to “do whatever they want” so they become frustrated they are the only ones enforcing the rules.  Be sure to make the mission of youth ministry clear; train and equip your volunteers to love students, care for their needs and to challenge them to obey God’s word.

3. Serving The Wrong Person
I love to ask volunteer, “who do you serve?” The answer is always interesting. I often hear, “I am here to serve the youth pastor.” I ask that same questions of youth workers and they think the volunteers are there to serve the students. Big disconnect. We have to help our volunteers understand we want them to build relationships with students that will lead to changed lives. We can get frustrated with volunteers when they never talk with students or never ask students any questions. That frustration is obvious and the volunteers think they have done something wrong. So they work harder to serve you and you become more frustrated. Soon we all dislike each other. Be clear with your adults about your expectations. Train them on how to build relationships. When you’re on the same page, your adult volunteers will stay.

1. Won’t answer questions
When students feel rejected they won’t  trust adults enough to share any insights or feelings. Asking a student, “what’s wrong?” won’t help either. Asking if you have offended or hurt them will help. Explaining that you care and want a good relationship will give the student permission to share how they have been hurt.

2. Disappear from church
When students are rejected they quit coming. We tend to think they don’t like the program or something has changed at home. So connecting with students who have left your ministry is important. Even if you have not been the one to reject them, it’s important to connect and care for them.

3. Make spiteful comments
Students lash out when they have been hurt. If a student starts to make hurtful comments about other adults then most likely they have been hurt by that adult. Ask them where that comment is coming from and often they will tell you about how they have felt rejected.

Not all of these signs means a student has felt rejected but they are clues. Listen closely to your students for they are telling us many things.

1. Encouragement 
Everyone needs to hear what they are good at. At least two times per month I try and tell my people what I think they are really good at. Stars shine but they need to know how they shine. The more encouragement the more important they feel.

2. Unexpected 
We must do special unexpected things for our people. If we do what is expected they will do the same for us … boring. I want to be extravagant with them so they will be over the top with others. The unexpected changes the way people think. 

3. Personal
When I want to show someone I care about them, I ask myself “what do they care about?” Spouses, careers, hobbies and pets are often the answer so I do things that show I care about what they care about. When I focus on what they love they know I am thinking about them and what they love. 

Top Ten fears of Youth Workers
10. I’m to Old
9. I’m not hip
8. I don’t speak the language
7. I’m to smart for this
6. I don’t know what to say
5. I don’t look the part
4. I don’t know enough about the Bible
3. If students ever knew what I did in the past…
2. I can’t relate
1. Students won’t like me

I place a funny picture next to each fear which serves to release the tension and gives me an easy opening into an often difficult discussion. I have found that these little fears are powerful and gripping to youth ministry volunteers. Quick quips and silly stories will not be helpful for most adults. I start by telling my own fears and how I have dealt with them. I also give adults the chance to see themselves as students do which for most adult is powerful. I do this in four ways;

1. I take them back to their high school days and ask them to think about an adult who had an influence in their lives – I remind them of the power of this relationship and how it shaped and molded them, positively or negatively. I then connect the dots for them and encourage them to be a positive influence in a student’s life.

2. I describe for them how a student thinks – students see us as larger than life, people who have all the answers and worry free. Little do they know. As adults we tend to think that students see us as equals, for the most part they don’t. A positive upbeat adult will always attract students. Students want to know what they think you know.

3. Bring in a ringer, someone who has had success to tell their story. This can be a member of your current team or someone from the congregation. These personal ministry stories can be powerful for people on the front line of ministry. Have your ringer share a fear and how God helped them overcome it.

4. Focus on the results, I often find that people who are in a fight to reach a mountain top don’t because they never look up. They see the problems never the results. Have a student share how a relationship with an adult made a difference or have a student share how they view the adult leaders. You may just want to share results that you have seen.

Remember: people don’t talk about their fears. If you think this isn’t a problem for your volunteers because you have never heard them talk about it, think again. Here is my challenge for you, spend twenty minutes of your next staff meeting on this and watch the reaction. Don’t be afraid.

When I interact with most youth groups, I notice that many of the adult volunteers are there to help the youth pastor, not to build spiritual relationship with students. My guess is most youth groups have only a few adults focused on mentoring relationships. Often adults are afraid of students. They don’t understand students and they don’t think students will like them. So they work in the shadows “helping the youth pastor” while the youth pastor talks with the students. The problem is the capacity of most youth pastors is about five spiritual relationships. The youth pastor needs other adults to develop spiritual relationships with students; so how to do develop a strong volunteer team?

LeaderTreks uses a five step process for developing transformational adult volunteers.

Step one: Recruiting the right people
If you blow a dog whistle you know that only dogs hear the call. The same is true when we call for people who will want to be heart to heart with students, so we need to learn how to attract the right volunteers. So often we feel like we are intruding in someone’s life if we ask them to mentor a student – why? This may be the greatest calling in a person’s life; especially if God wired them for deep spiritual mentoring.

It is important to avoid giving volunteers the perception that the youth ministry is in trouble and desperately needs their help. Who wants to help a ministry that is failing? People who are natural leaders want to be part of a team that is successful. Offer a positive view of the ministry and talk about how students are moving to the next level. Make it clear that people with the special gift of mentoring are needed to help students develop strong relationships with Jesus. This approach keeps people from feeling guilty or that they are helping you and not students. Keep the focus on students. Be sure that the volunteers understand their role is to help students develop spiritually. Tell them how you’re going to train and support them through the journey. Invite those that are interested to an orientation meeting.

Step two: Vision casting – Orientation
The orientation meeting is so important, however most youth workers miss this step. This meeting allows you to share the vision for the youth ministry. Volunteers learn that you’re not just inviting them to work with students, you’re asking them to join your vision. This is very important because lots of adults want to work with students but they want to be in charge and focus on what they want to do. Great volunteers buy into the mission as much as they buy into students. At LeaderTreks, we don’t interview anyone until we ask them if they are willing to join our mission, share our values and work under the LeaderTreks leadership. We value our team culture. We need to insure that everyone who joins the team shares the same values; and you need to as well.
 
When planning this meeting make sure to include your expectations of adult volunteers. Most youth pastors share their calendar so adults know when to be there. This is not enough. You need to explain your expectation for mentoring relationships between the adults and students. Explain what training and resources you will give them. Remind them of the difference it will make in the lives of students and in the kingdom of God. This orientation has to be clear and specific. This is the most important meeting you will have with your adults. Ask for the world. I would often tell my volunteers that it will cost more than you want to spend, take more time then you have and be the greatest experience of your life.
 
Step three: Training
Training is hard. It takes time most people don’t have but don’t neglect this step. At least once a month plan a great training even if you have to take a week of youth group off. Take what we do at my church now (I am not the youth pastor) as an example. The first week of every month we cancel youth group and have an adult training in its place. By doing it this way we don’t add another event to an already busy schedule for adult volunteers.  Remember, at the end of the day it is the adult volunteers that will really determine the effectiveness of your youth ministry.
 
Training should not be simply a discussion of the calendar. It is important to go over the calendar but don’t spend more than five minutes on it. Devote your time instead to discussing how to build relationships with students, how to be a transformational teacher and tips for mentoring. These resources will make the difference for your volunteers. Remember you have recruited people who have a heart for students so now you need to equip them with the skills they need to be successful.
 
Step four: Supporting
As a leader it is essential to encourage the people God has placed in our ministries. They are His people, His servants, called by Him to do a great work. You are in charge of making sure they don’t lose heart and lack encouragement. You need to confront them when they are off track, speak words of truth into their lives and be a leader worth following. Remember when you find the right people and they are connected to the ministry, they are going to be alive in Christ in a way that they have never thought possible. You will have the greatest team on your hands. Remember to treat them to notes of encouragement, acts of kindness and love. If you can afford it, buy them gift cards.  If not watch their kids, say specific encouragement and do acts of kindness for them. Treat them with value and love.
 
Step five: Evaluating
It is easy to forget to evaluate the job our adult volunteers are doing. I don’t mean check up on them to find the things they are doing wrong. Instead, find ways to help them to improve and give them encouraging feedback. Many youth workers have never seen their adult volunteers leading a small group or interacting with students. You need to evaluate them in order to show them you care and to help them grow as leaders and mentors of students. This reinforces your vision and unites the staff in a purpose bigger than themselves. When they realize that they are not alone doing the ministry they will be encouraged.
 
When your volunteers see that you have a process for helping them and understand that you want them to be successful doing what God called them to do, they are going to be energized. Developing your core volunteer staff needs to be one of your highest priorities.  By spending your time and energy developing this essential group of individuals, the capacity of your ministry will continue to grow.

Let me share a simple tool we use at LeaderTreks; If you want to build a relationships with students then build it over their favorite subject; themselves. Students love two things; themselves and being discovered. Ever hang-out with students and just listen? Their conversations are just about them – they never ask a question of each other, they just try and one up each other. You can use this to your advantage. First, be honestly interested in who they are and second play a game of discovery we call 100 questions. We teach every one of our staff and interns this “game” that is extremely effective when talking with students. This game is affectionately known as 100 questions. When we play 100 questions you start off by asking a basic question. For example, “Jim, what is something you like to do?” Then after listening to his response we take a bit of information and ask a question about that.

Jim: “I like to listen to music.”

You: “What type of music do you like to listen to?”

Jim: “Black Eyed Peas, Maroon 5, The Fray, Rob Thomas… You know the good stuff (Note take 1 piece of information and ask about it.)

You: “Oh yeah what do you like about Rob Thomas?”

Jim: “Rob Thomas is amazing.”

You: “What is so amazing about Rob Thomas?”

This game starts with questions about what the students is wearing or what their favorite music is but it ends with the questions about where they are with Christ. Each time you ask a question you should take it deeper and deeper until you reach the most important questions about where they are with Christ.

The great thing about this game is that you can truly invest in a relationship and not know a thing about Rob Thomas or Sister Hazel, but you are showing interest in their life and caring; one of the key steps to maximizing relationships.

When training your volunteers in this game; don’t just tell them about it, have them practice it. We have our staff break-up in to groups of two and one person starts asking questions. I give them five minutes to ask as many questions as possible using this formula. Then I yell stitch and the other person starts asking questions. I am always amazed at what people can learn when they are intentional about discovering someone else.
Warning: most people will want to break into someone answer and tell a story. This game is best played when the adult volunteer asks and the student answers. The volunteers should only be asking questions never talking about themselves. (This can be tough)

Give this a try at your next staff meeting. It just takes a few minutes but it could give your volunteers a tool that we help them build a strong relationship with a student.

1. Try and teach like me

I know you thinking that you are really good teachers and yes, you do set a good example but don’t say this. The last thing you want is for your volunteers to be mimics of you. God made each of us unique and when we use the strengths and gifts He gave us we will be effective. Trying to be like Super youth worker Joe will never work for the average volunteer. In fact trying to be like Joe will actually be a turn-off to the volunteer. When they don’t add up they will become frustrated and want to quit. Encourage your volunteers to discover their gifts and use them. This will bring them joy!

2. Whatever you do, just keep the kids from killing each other

You might as well say, “your only job is to enforce the rules” or “just put in the time, that’s all we ask.” However you interpret this statement, it’s not good. Never tell your volunteers the least they have to do. This says, you’re not important and we are just trying to get through this. It’s not very inspiring and it doesn’t cast any vision for life change in students. Also challenge your volunteers to do above and beyond. People follow vision, if you don’t have one then you don’t have volunteers.

3. Parents don’t get youth ministry or the pastor doesn’t get youth ministry

When you disrespect an authority volunteers get nervous. They know that you’re not in charge and that you don’t have the experience most parents and pastors have. Your disrespect of these people will make you look immature and stupid. I know at times you are frustrated with them but you need to learn submission. Taking your frustration out in your front of your volunteers will do more to hurt your leadership than almost anything else. Speak highly of your parents and pastors. Give them respect and the other volunteers will respect you.

1. Teaching for transformation
The first skill our small group leaders (SGL) need to have is the ability to teach for transformation. They need to be able to deliver content in a way that makes students want to listen and allows their passion for Christ to shine through. Most SGL are trying to survive the night. They might even say to the students, “just let me get through this material and then you can have fun.” Teachers must know how to internalize the Bible story and bring it to life through stories of their own life. This will let their passion through and allow students to see how the Biblical truth can be applied to one’s life.

2. Lead a Discussion
Leading a student discussion on the Bible can be one of the hardest things an adult will ever do. They must open discussion to a group of people who often don’t want to discuss or want to discuss to much. Students don’t have the maturity often to know what is approbate to share. So the adult leader must carefully give freedom while keeping their eyes on healthy boundaries all at the same time. Always remember to ask open ended questions and don’t allow students to give one word answers. If you think a student has more to share, asked them to take the answer deeper or to drill down a bit. This invitation will let students know it’s OK to share. Also always respond when a student gives you an answer. Say something like “great thought” or “good insight.” These encouraging words will also indicate to the students that it’s a safe environment to share.

3. Be Experiential
Students don’t learn much from hearing you talk. In fact they learn very little. Bring the lesson to life by allowing the students to do an activity that gets them thinking about the theme of the lesson. Be creative and outside the box. For example, a friend was teaching on heaven. He gave the students a commercial role of toliet paper and challenged them to unroll it without breaking it. The students unrolled it through the church out the door, across the parking lot and down one block. When the students had finished the challenge they was a great shout of joy! Then my friend called them over to the end of the roll and placed a dot on the end of the paper with a pen. He explained to the students that the dot represented the first 100 years they would spend in heaven. The students all understood “eternity” from that lesson. When we make experiences with memories we help students to learn.

4. Challenge Students to Apply
We must challenge students to make applications from God’s word. If we just read stories from the Bible and call it a day then our students will leave the church as soon as they get out of High School. Students must apply scripture in order for them to make it their own. You can’t ask students to own their faith without asking them to own the ministry. A good application has a who, what, when and where to it. This makes it measurable. When a student makes an application like, “I want to love my brother more” you can bet he won’t do it. If he says, “I will care for my brother on Monday when he gets home from school by making him his favorite snack,” there is good chance he will do that. Make sure students are making measurable applications, otherwise you are wasting their time.

5. Find a Replacement
We should all be mentoring someone to take our place. If we are doing any ministry, part of our job description should be to develop someone who can take your leadership role. If we were to do this then our churches would never run out of leaders and the kingdom of God would grow.

Train your adults volunteers to develop these skills and your youth ministry will deepen and grow.

Have I:

• Reviewed the material sufficiently so that I can teach it confidently?

• Reflected on what God is teaching me personally in this area?

• Prayed for God’s wisdom regarding what I will teach and asked Him for insight into
  my students’ lives?

• Identified my small group’s leadership strengths and areas still needing to be
  addressed?

• Anticipated any new developments or outcomes that might occur as a result of this
  lesson?

Am I:

• Enthusiastic about what I am about to teach?

• Committed to being as open and honest as I want/expect my students to be?

• Ready to challenge my students out of their comfort zones to reach the next level?

• Clear about where I want to lead the group and how this session will help us get
  there?

Are my students:

• Learning what I want them to learn? Are they “getting” it?

• In the best setting/environment) to learn? (Is the room set up? Is it adequate? Do
  they have the resources they need – pens, paper, etc.?)

• Growing in the areas of unity and trust regarding the team?

• Confused about anything from a prior session that I need to address?

• Excited about becoming all that God wants them to be?