Being a youth worker all boils down to leadership. You can’t get away from it. If you are going to reach your maximum potential you are going to have to focus on leadership. When I think about the different aspects of youth ministry I naturally think about four groups of people who need a leader. Youth workers need to lead themselves, students, adults (volunteers & parents) and church leaders. These groups all require different leadership styles in order to be impacted. A youth worker who uses his student leadership style on his sr. pastor is going to get a confused look and a invitation for consulting. Be a know-it-all in front of Jr. Higher and they will listen to everything you say. Be a know-it-all in front of parents and you should find a new job. Most  youth workers don’t change their leadership style for the group they are attempting to influence. Sometimes youth workers don’t see themselves as leaders in these relationships. Most often they know they need to lead the students but often they don’t know what it means to lead themselves or adults. The following is what I think is important to impact these four people groups.

Lead Yourself

I think most youth workers try and mimic someone they look up to. Doug Fields comes to mind. A lot of youth workers would like to teach like him and lead like him but the truth is they are not him. All the time spent on trying to be like Doug is a total waste. In fact trying to mimic any church leader is a waste of time because you wont’ be successful until you work on being you. God has given you leadership ability and he has wired you to do the job he called you to. So STOP trying to be someone else and work at getting to know your skills and strengths. That way your leadership will be strong and you will be successful.

Leading Students

Leading students often means getting out of their way, allowing them to make decisions. Leading students is an art because one minute you need to be super leaders and the next you need to be invisible.

Leading Adults

Leading adults is tricky, because you are the leader but you are not in charge. You have to be able to navigate dangerous water, because one mis-step and you will drown. Believe me, not everyone’s cheering for your success. When Jesus talked about being wise like a snake and innocent as doves, I think he may have been talking about leading a parent meeting. You have to be humble yet informed, a visionary yet a servant and you have to be willing to say I am sorry, I will learn from this. If you are not ready to do this you will drown.

Leading Up

Most youth workers never learn the art of leading the leaders over you. You must study the needs of your leaders. You need to understand their values and you must become a student of their goals. You do all this while you’re putting away your own ideas. This is very hard because most young youth workers don’t think their leaders are doing anything right. It almost seems like a sellout to consider helping your leaders reach their goals. The truth is it’s actually the fastest way to get your ideas heard. Bucking the systems leads to mistrust, serving your leaders leads to influence.

I lead an awesome 3 day coaching event on these topics at Refuel in the Rockies – check it out.

I have noticed lately it’s becoming cool to swear if you’re a ‘thought leader’ in youth ministry. It shows you have reached a level of righteous anger, an anger level so high that it’s OK to let the four letter words fly. It shows you care more than other people, because you’re willing to break conventional politeness to make your point. It says you should be listened to, it says you matter. But to me it’s stupid … it’s not a four-letter letter word because I am not that cool.

This past weekend Angie and I went to the New Home Show. It’s a bunch of exhibits from carpenter and home improvement people who want to show off what they do. The problem is, these everyday carpenters have to act like salespeople. It’s not a good fit. They come across as pushy, know-it-alls and not as people who want to help you reach your goals. It got me thinking, “do we do this in youth ministry?” We are focused on students but how do we act when it comes to dealing with parents or church leaders? Do we come across like we don’t want to be there or like we know-it-all or even worse…demanding? It’s important for us to remember that we serve the church of Jesus. That includes parents, church leaders and adult volunteers. We want them to know we serve them just like we serve students.

Hey the Simply Conference is coming up the first weekend in March. This is my favorite youth ministry conference because of the relationships that I have built over the years. I love how they give you time to connect and build relationships with other people. If you just to looked at the schedule you might think that it’s the same as other conferences but it’s not – the difference is attitude. The leaders of the conference have asked youth workers from around the country to actually shape the conference, create the feel and drive the fun. This makes all the difference.

I will be speaking at this conference, training and coaching on the following topics:

Friday, March 4th
Pre-conference: The Disconnect, Bridging the gap between sr. pastors and youth pastors
Youth pastors and senior pastors each have their own values systems built on different criteria. Senior pastors want respect for time served, and youth pastors want to respect people who have impact. These value systems create a divide and it’s hurting the church. This track will focus on building a bridge over this divide by focusing on five key areas where youth pastors and senior pastors can agree, work together, and serve each other.

Get more information on pre-conference options at http://conference.youthministry.com/SessionsSpeakers/PreConferenceOptions/tabid/105/Default.aspx

Saturday, March 5th
Mentoring Student Leaders: new ways to think about leadership development
Most youth ministries doing student leadership focus on student leadership teams. While teams are effective, they are not the only option. A mentoring program can help you overcome problems with traditional leadership teams. Come discover how a mentoring strategy can transform your students’ leadership.

Sunday, April 6th
Student Leadership 101: Foundations for Developing Student Leaders
In the first session of this highly interactive Half-Track, I will lay out the three foundational principles that every youth worker must teach students for them to grow as healthy leaders. You will experience these principles through fun activities, leadership assessments, and learning exercises. You will leave equipped and confident to teach your students leadership. In the second session you will learn the process of starting a student leadership team. We’ll talk about the best practices and available resources to help you get off to the best start possible.

To sign-up for the conference go to http://conference.youthministry.com/